So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
