It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
