Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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