Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
