Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
