Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
