Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize