Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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