Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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