Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
