2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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