just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
