Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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