When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize