I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
