We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize