come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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