I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
