i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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