are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
