I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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