Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
