do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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