This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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