Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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