Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
