gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
