someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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