i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
