cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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