He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i've created a new STD.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
