is your mom at the bar?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
