I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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