My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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