ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
