I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
