We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
