Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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