you would pick up someone in the library
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize