Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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