if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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