I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
