If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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