We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
