how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
