My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
