you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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