Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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