Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
