Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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