I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
