Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
