omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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