people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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