I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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