I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
