i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
