I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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