My cat gives me a boner
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
