So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
