It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize